If you’re here looking for a blog related to wakeboarding, you may want to move along because there’s going to be none of that in here. No, this one is going to be 100% about snowboarding; it’s a sport that near and dear to my heart. And why not, it’s essentially the frozen equivalent of wakeboarding anyways Somebody asked me once if I’m a snowboarder trapped inside of a wakeboarder’s body. I think I’m a snowboarder trapped inside a middle-aged, slightly over weight, desk jockey’s body to be perfectly honest.

With all of that being said, it’s either ironic or some kind of cruel joke (not sure which) that I’m about to compete in my first ever pro snowboard contest. The contest in question is the Grenade Games and it’s coming to the World Ski and Snowboard Festival (TWSSF). The man behind the Grenade Games is none other than Mr. Danny Kass. You know, the guy from the X-Games, Burton US Open, the Olympics, the Danny and Dingo Show, etc… Whether it’s destiny or that I have friends in high places (thanks L.E and N.P), I somehow ended up registered for the contest.

If you’re thinking how does this guy stand a chance competing against some of the biggest names in the sport, you would be entirely missing the point of the Grenade Games. Danny and the fine folks at Monster Energy have come up with a contest that is all about having the most fun on a snowboard as humanly possible. While there is a pipe and big air contest, the first two days are a Poker Run and a Dual Slalom Moguls race; sounds awesome right?

Tuesday is the Poker Run; this is right up my ally because it contains two things I love, cruising around the mountain and poker. There will be 5 different stations set up on Whistler and Blackcomb and the object is to go around and collect playing cards. At one of the stations, I’ll have to post a time in a closed-off Giant Slalom course. I’m also feeling pretty good about this one. Moonlighting as a snowboard tech means that I WILL have the fastest board on the mountain (but I'm not laying any claims about being the fastest snnowboarder). I’m already brewing up a special race wax just for the day. After everybody collects their cards, the best 8 hands get to play at a final table with Danny and The Dingo.

The next event is the Dual Slalom Moguls; an event perfectly tailored to snowboarders. There’s only 32 riders competing in this one; with any luck I’ve qualified from the day before after a blazing run down the GS course. To be perfectly honest, I’m not even sure my knees would hold up in this event.

The only way this could ever be a photo of me is if somebody had some mad Photoshop skills 

Thursday is the half pipe jam event, which could be the highlight of the week. Back in the day I actually used to ride halfpipe a fair bit, but that’s when they were only 12-14 feet deep. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve been in a super pipe. Now I like to think I’m no slouch, I’ve got a few small tricks up my sleeve. Maybe Danny will bust out a Switch Cork 10 over my poked out Frontside Air; how sweet would that be? Like the previous two events, it’s open to everybody, but after an hour or so they start to kick out the has-been’s and never-was’s.

That's more like it — note the mad Photoshop skills.

The week ends off on Saturday night with the big-air in front of 10000-15000 screaming fans. This one is for the super pros only unless someone happens to notice my ultimate shred skills and I get a last minute invite.

If you’re interested in my competition, go here to find out the full list of riders. And be sure to check back everyday for my results.